“Here’s a story that happened to a friend of a friend of mine…”
While I would love to truthfully start this post with a cliche opening sentence like that, I’m actually glad I can’t. The internet is truly the gift that keeps on giving. Take this story for instance. It’s an oldie but a goodie!
During a round of chemsex, a couple thought it would be a great idea if one of them had 15 hard-boiled eggs inserted up their butt.
I am not kidding.
As it turned out, the eggs tore his intestinal wall. Now call me daft, but I don’t quite see the connection from getting high on GHB to having sex to then inserting 15 hard-boiled eggs up a rectum. Allegedly the man began to feel unwell with stomach pains later in the evening. No surprise there!
So the 29-year-old heads to the hospital with high heart rate and rapid breathing and after examinations it was discovered he showed abdominal guarding over his entire stomach.
Wouldn’t a smart idea have been to actually try shitting them out or something of the likes? I mean was he just chillin’ and turns to his partner and goes “Oh hey, my gut hurts maybe it’s the 15 freakin’ hard-boiled eggs up my ass?”
After undergoing a laparotomy which involves a surgical incision into the abdominal wall, doctors removed the eggs the best they could and gave the abdominal cavity a nice thorough rinse. A few days monitored in intensive care, and he was right to go home.
I do have questions. Actually many questions, but I’ll keep them to a few. Did they just decide in the middle of sex to cook some eggs? What kind of person has over a dozen eggs at home at one time? And did they peel the shells first?
Maybe it was the eggcitement of it all, or perhaps it felt eggtastic at the time. But there’s definitely a very clear life lesson to be found here. Don’t go sticking 15 hard-boiled eggs up you’re bum because there’s a high percent chance that it won’t end up being a very good time.
And on that note. If you are going to be involved in chemsex, just remember it can sometimes lead to risky behaviour with severe consequences. So be careful with whatever you’re into.
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